(28) To Brother Kenneth Ka Keung on 1^st November 2017 at his burial ceremony at Olney Green Burial ground, MK46 5EH, UK 

弔四弟

  

                           我弟先吾去

                           家强竟不强

                        英姿偏早逝

                        一念一悲傷

Brother, O' Ye,

Younger yet departing before me!

Father named you Ka Keung,

Wishing for a stronger son.

But his work is now undone,

For, fate has snatched you away.

Every time your name I say,

My heart leaps up

And sadnesses stay.

We have come together today to say farewell to Kenneth Ka Keung Tong and to celebrate his life.

Ka Keung, as we call him at home, was born in Hong Kong exactly 68 years ago, in the year of the Ox. Our father named him Ka Keung to express the wish that his third son would grow to be strong. For, Father was disappointed with his two elder sons in terms of physique, especially me, whose birth weight was just 5 lbs. He said, ‘about the weight of his cat!’ Father‘s wish was fulfilled because Ka Keung grew to 5’9 or 5’10 and he was strong and sporty. Here was a man with lots of muscles! He exceeded father’s expectation.

It has been said that an Ox-person is diligent. Indeed, Ka Keung was most diligent in his studies and professional training, achieving many qualifications in general nursing as well as psychiatric nursing. He practised mental nursing in numerous hospitals in the U.K. and around the world, including Hong Kong and, if I remember correctly, Saudi Arabia. He helped many patients during his professional life, which was tragically cut short when he himself developed mental illness. He struggled with it for many years by various means, such as continuing his sports (-he completed the London marathon three times) and studying almost feverishly writings by philosophers, political figures, strategists and others.

As we all know, the last phase of his life’s journal was long and painful. He bore his sufferings with extraordinary courage and dignity. I am very proud of him. He showed me how to conduct oneself in the face of great adversity.

Ka Keung and I had always got along very well indeed. Like that of two good friends, our relationship was smooth and calm. We never ever argued over anything, not even money matters. We were always generous towards each other. He always treated me with great respect and his sister-in-law, Mary, with great courtesy and warmth. When I was lecturing in China in 1981 for a month, my overworked wife had to look after our son of 5 and daughter of not even 1, all on her own. One day, Ka Keung decided to drive all the way from London to Manchester just to see how they were. When we were both working in Hong Kong, he used to come to my home frequently. I can remember that we had nice long chats.

His elder sister, Pik Yu, is very upset that she is unable to come to attend this event but is here in spirit. She is unwell. However, it was very fortunate that at the end of May this year, she and I were able to visit Ka Keung for three days in a row. On the last day, she and Ka Keung both knew that this would be their final goodbye. I can still remember the scene vividly. He held onto Pik Yu’s hands for a long, long time before he closed his eyes and let go. Pik Yu and Ka Keung were of similar age, Pik Yu being just 2 years older. They were very close. They went to the same primary school in Hong Kong. She told me that they used to go to school hand in hand. As a treat to themselves, they would share the same ice-lorry which they bought by saving and pooling their minuscule pocket monies. When Ka Keung was a teenager, he was given a bicycle as a present from Stanley, later Pik Yu’s husband. It gave him lots of joy riding it everywhere. 

Ka Keung’s younger sister, Po-Yu, would like me to say a few words on her behalf too. She told me that Ka Keung often teased her when young and played jokes on her. Then they would hug each other to make up. When they were older, they continued to help each other. For example, he would take time to help her and to answer her queries with her school work. When they were both living at our parents‘ home at Barking, London, from time to time he would come home late from work. She would then save some dinner for him and reheat it when he returned home.

Now, I’d like to take this opportunity of thanking the staff at Brockfield for taking good care of Ka Keung in his final days. I must also thank Marianne for arranging this farewell to celebrate Ka Keung’s life and for making my wife’s and my attendance as smooth as possible.

Finally, life is but a collection of memories. Although Ka Keung is no more, he will always occupy an important corner in my collection.

My dear brother, Ka Keung, may you rest in peace!